Often
in our everyday lives, we would have encountered or experienced many
interpersonal conflicts. By understanding our own emotions along with that of
others, we would probably be able to handle such situations better. In this
blog post, I will be sharing about a hypothetical interpersonal conflict. Consider
the following scenario:
Jane
is a young woman who takes the MRT train to work every morning. On one
occasion, she was sitting on the ‘Reserved’ seat. As she was too engrossed with
the show she was watching on her iPad, she did not notice a middle-aged woman
with an injured leg, entering the train. The woman started to get annoyed as she
was not offered any seat. She then exclaimed loudly to the other commuters, “Young
people these days, have no courtesy. There is an injured person standing in
front of her. Yet she pretends not to know and continues to sit down. She obviously
does not know what the purpose of the ‘Reserved’ seat is.” Jane was miffed by
the comment. However, she stood to offer up her seat to the woman, without
saying a word. After the woman sat down, she continued glaring at Jane and made
nasty remarks about her. These remarks
angered and embarrassed Jane. As she could not contain her emotions any longer,
she retaliated verbally and this started a heated argument between her and the
middle-aged woman.
In
my opinion, this conflict could have been easily avoided if the woman had asked
Jane for the seat more politely. While she was entitled to sit on the ‘Reserved’
seat, her tone seemed to come across as demanding and authoritative. She could
have been too self-centered by thinking only of herself and not what Jane would
have felt after hearing those sensitive comments. If she had placed herself in
Jane’s situation, she would have understood that perhaps it was an honest
mistake to not notice her and her injured leg. She probably could have said
instead, “Excuse me Miss, do you mind if you give up your seat to me because
I’ve an injured leg?”
Even
after she sat down, she should not have continued giving nasty remarks. She could
have taken Jane’s silence as a signal to say, “Okay. I’ve given up my seat to
you so please don’t comment any further.” However, Jane could also have
apologized and remarked politely that she did not noticed the woman earlier on.
This probably could have calmed the woman down and made her think twice before
giving further comments. If it was impossible for Jane to communicate with the
woman in a gentle manner, she could have moved to another section of the train
to avoid the verbal conflict. However, I admit that sometimes it would be
difficult to contain your emotions, especially after receiving nasty remarks or
insults. It would be best though to try to avoid any conflict in the beginning,
instead of starting one and thinking of how to resolve it later on.
What
would you have done to resolve this conflict if you were Jane? Feel free to
give any comments.
